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Friday, 16 May 2008

Currently Listening
A Twist In My Story
By Secondhand Serenade
Stay Close, Don't Go...seriously, don't you forget me when ya get hitched..hah
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To future brother-in-law...

In about a month, two days ago, I will be getting the coolest brother that I've never had. Well, I mean I love my other brother, the real one, and all. He's different from most brothers, if you know what I mean..if not, then it's better you don't? He's bought me dresses for about the past 4 years for Christmas and birthday presents; he's attained a very good sense of style and fashion, which from time to time I despise; we have a good time when it's me, him, and my sister cause..well...we share at least one thing in common, more or less. But Dave's got something..well lots of things that Kuya doesn't. For one, he's not as concerned with me making a 4.0 GPA than he is with me and my relationship with God. He's very giving, even when he doesn't have much to give. The faith that this man has in his God....perplexes me. I sit and lie awake at night fretting about Alaska funds, when this guy has so much pressure, naturally and partially from my parents, cause he'll be getting married soon with a wife to support. He's not the most well-off guy but I couldn't think of anyone more fit to support my sister. Sure he's a total doofus sometimes, but who doesn't want someone in his life who could make a complete dork of himself without feeling the slightest bit of embarrassment? Maybe I'm over-exaggerating, but I guess what I mean to say is..that I'm becoming happier for my sister. Sure the transition is tough, but he's more compassionate and loving than I am with her at times, and she needs that. Gahhhh!
It's okay though..or at least, it's gonna be. Cause I know I'll be over their house a lot lol..doing laundry and whatnot..avoiding parents on the "grrr..I need to get away from them" days. So..even though I feel like I'm 'losing' my sister, I'm gaining a whole brand new brother...someone well equipped to handle the pressures of life in an appropriate and godly manner, someone who's well equipped to give my sister the happiness she deserves...So here's to you future bro-in-law..to Dave and Jeni. You've got my blessings..HAHA
So I'm catching up on my blogging. Seems like every time I wanna say something on here, I get distracted by something worth blogging about... So on Sunday I came back to church for the first time in months and I was put to work right away- helping my mom with Adam, the 6? year old kid in my church who has mental retardation/ms? He's sooo strong willed,...strong, stubborn. But so cute and he's grown and become more behaved since I last left. I feel so much for his family..mainly his mother. Her husband passed away a couple years ago so its just her and her three boys. One is in 4th grade and the other is like 17....I think it's hard for her... But I admire her cause she's such a strong lady..spiritually and physically! no joke..she does like 75 push ups every day I hear!

Wow..i get distracted so easily..I didn't evn get to finish this post.....OH well, I'm gonna start a new one now hahah..

Sunday, 11 May 2008

Currently Listening
Fallen
By Sarah McLachlan
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So I went to a nursing home today with a few o' the guys from my church as a teen activity. We played Bingo! It's been such a long time since I've played that game..last time I can recall was with my mother. We had a phase when we played board games, literally all day...'twas the cause of being expelled from school and having nothing to do all the days of the week cause of 24/7 supervision....good times. The first thing the lady that I played with (her name was Doris) told me was, "Always listen to your parents." It struck me funny in a way, in that it was typical of an older, wiser person to tell that sort of thing to a much younger and less experienced me. But the more I spoke with her, which wasn't too much more cause I kept getting the same questions and answers..what did I expect, of course she'd forget my age and accuse me of not looking older than 15..Well, anyway the more I found out a little more about her. Doris has 2 daughters and a son. He lives in Michigan and works for some company. The other..o man, I forget (i'm getting better, I promise)..And the other daughter died in a car wreck. It was then again that she told me to always listen and obey my parents. "Count your blessings; did you know we were once your age? Can you believe that?!" Quite a comical lady. Her bf of..15 years? she said it was, sat right next to her in. Uncle Max, she told me to call him. I gathered from her mutterings that he was previously married. It was...kind of sad. She's never been out of NY..I kind of predicted that; her accent was still heavy with unpronounced "r's" and elongated vowels. She also lived only two blocks away. It seemed that she was rather sane, still, for an old woman like her. Sure she stumbles with her memory lots and struggles a little with hearing..but who doesn't? I don't know all too much about this lady but it bothers me to think about how depressing nursing homes can be. It was Sabbath today, she mentioned. I think she was Jewish...

Then we left..and walked to Dunkin Donuts and...ate donuts, I guess. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see Jer and all but.. I dunno!! gahh! He sat next to me, and I couldn't help but just stare out the window..into the world. And I didn't even feel like having small talk or anything. And then Jeriah texted...hah! He saw, but in the back of my mind I sensed...insecurity and doubt? on his part. So, that might've just been my imagination, but me being so detached and distracted might not have helped. Why is it so hard? Why do I always have doubts; why are there so many popups?!?! I don't want a relationship right now! lol...But..I don't want him to go away... I told my friend that I was thinking of telling Jer to wait a little bit until we become "official" until after his Frehsman year just so he can experience a little o' college life first and..possibly mature a little? He thought it was a ludicrous idea..that he would flip out if it were him, what with all the waiting the boy's been doing..Lol. Idk, i guess I just don't wanna get distracted?...maybe I'm afraid to commit..I think when it comes down to it, that's one of my main problems. Just when things start to get nice and comfy, I run. Dumb Janine!! You'll be all alone one day and you say now that you don't care...but you will then. Wow, I'm talkin to myself in a blog... well w/e. I'm screwed up in the head anyway...lol........Mangoes anyone?